


5 times Jaime did not get along with a Stark

by IntrovertedOwl



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Read at Your Own Risk, this is not well thought out, very silly fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 09:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11986926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedOwl/pseuds/IntrovertedOwl
Summary: ... and 1 time he did.An extremely silly fic because I wanted Jaime x Stark interactions. And I can't write Jaime without having background JB.





	5 times Jaime did not get along with a Stark

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline + setting is all kinds of weird but just go along with it xD

## 1.

You’d think, considering all the damage the Targaryens and had done to the Stark family, Ned Stark would be grateful for what he had done. But of course not. The honourable Ned Stark would always look at him like he’d  _personally_ offended him by that bar incident - and it  _was_ in self-defence, not a “planned coup”, no matter what the press said or what his kids believed.

Back when Aerys was alive, you couldn’t go a day without there being some sort of scandal or controversy involving him - and this after all his men did everything they could to cover up the worst of them. And yet, when he died - which most people were happy about even if no one said it -  _he_ became the bad guy who’d killed the great Targaryen.

Of course, part of Stark’s disdain for him was because he was a Lannister, Tywin Lannister’s son, and to be honest, that was understandable. Tywin was no angel. In fact, he was probably the most dangerous man in the country, and had done quite a lot of... _questionable_ things, if not as many as Aerys. The difference was that Tywin was a lot cleverer than to allow said things to be traced back to him, or to be even discovered.

(There were the matters regarding Gregor Clegane but most people were too scared of him to approach  _those_ issues.) 

Still, you’d think, Ned Stark, with all his talk of honour and whatnot, would know better than to judge a guy for his father’s sins.

He hadn’t actually seen Stark for many years, but he was forced to attend this party thrown in honour of his brother-in-law. And of course he ran into Stark, looking at him with those judgmental, cold, grey eyes.

He really should know when to keep his mouth shut, though. He hadn’t been planning on it, but that disdain on his face rubbed him the wrong way, and he was already in a bad mood because Tyrion had gone off somewhere again, and he couldn’t help but put on that smirk to annoy Stark and taunt him about the business.

But  _of course_  things would turn to Aerys. They always did.

_“Is that what you tell yourself at night? That you’re a servant of justice?”  
_

Well, fuck him and his righteousness, he thought, and went off to search for Tyrion, cursing him for abandoning him among the wolves.

 

 

 

## 2.

The eldest Stark brat may take after his mother’s side of the family in looks, but when he glared at him with narrowed eyes Jaime suddenly saw a lot of Ned Stark in him. 

Sure, he shouldn’t have underestimated the kid, the strategy he’d used was actually genius - not that he’d ever say that to him - and it certainly stung that he’d lost to a  _Stark_ , but one victory doesn’t mean he’s out of the game forever. Still, he’d meant what he said. He had more experience than him, he’d bounce back.

But  _he_ chose to get offended over being called “boy”. Of course he  _had_ meant to be condescending, but the kid should learn to have a thicker skin. Taunts and insults are part and parcel of the job, he doesn’t like being called Kingslayer either - 

“You’re insulting yourself, Kingslayer,” he said, “you’ve been defeated by a  _boy_.”

Jaime rolled his eyes. “Winning once doesn’t mean you’re the King of this place.”

He shrugged. “Better than a defeat,” he said coldly.

And then he left.

Fucking Starks and their dramatic exits.

 

 

 

## 3.

Okay, he’ll admit that this was more his fault than Snow’s but still.

And of course,  _technically_ , the kid wasn’t a Stark, but he looked more like Ned than any of his own kids, was raised by him, and had that trademark  _Stark Judging You_  face.

This kid brooded like no one else - and he was in his early twenties probably, he had no business doing that.

Still, he really shouldn’t have mocked him about his job. And being a Targaryen bastard was not something anyone would want.

He’d accidentally run into him at another of those horrible parties where most of the powerful families were trying to show off in as subtle a manner as they could, and Robert Baratheon would see if he could set a record for how quickly he could get drunk.

He’d made a comment about the party - he couldn’t remember what, but probably something along the lines of how he’d rather be anywhere else than at the party, and he’d looked to his right to see Snow standing there. He wasn’t exactly scowling at him, but it was close.

He realized later that it wasn’t exactly directed at him; Jon Snow pretty much  _always_ had a sullen expression. Still, at the time, he almost felt like Ned Stark was giving him _The Look_ , and he said, “What do you do anyway? You’re a Watchman right?”

Once upon a time, The Night’s Watch had been the country's most famous organization, one of the most honourable and brave jobs a man could do was work for them. And at that time, what he said wouldn’t be an insult.

But even the most dimwitted person could have known, by his tone, that he was mocking him.

Snow scowled. “The Night’s Watch is a great -”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Jaime rolled his eyes and turned away.

“I’d rather be a Watchman than a Lannister,” he heard him say.

Seven hells, did all these kids do a class on Hating Lannisters when they were growing up or something?

 

 

 

## 4.

It looked like all these years of marriage (twenty five? more?) had turned Catelyn more into a wolf than the fish she was because he could swear he heard Ned Stark’s sentiments echoing in her words as she blasted at him for behaving inappropriately towards Brienne. Who, by the way, was  _his_ friend. Sure, Brienne had met Catelyn long before she met him, and she was now pretty much an adopted Stark (pity, honestly, she was so much better), but still. She was  _his_ friend. Catelyn had no idea about the kind of relationship they had.

Honestly, how was calling Brienne “wench” inappropriate?  _She_ didn’t have a problem with it. He called her wench all the time. And Brienne didn’t complain about it to Catelyn either. He was pretty sure she just wanted a reason to make his life more difficult.

He had been talking to Brienne about going for this new movie. It wasn’t a  _date_ or anything, just going out as friends. And he threw in something about her blue sweater bringing out her eyes (it did!). Catelyn chose that moment to enter and started going on about his inappropriateness and that he was “distracting” Brienne from her work - like  _anything_ could distract her from work. He’d been trying to get her to stop worrying about work so much, take a break - a voice that sounded a lot like Brienne spoke in his head that that probably came under distracting from work, but he ignored it - but she would look at him like he’d suggested murdering a child or something.

And by the time she was done, Brienne had a turned a brilliant shade of red - as if  _she_ was the one being scolded like a school boy - and hurried away to her desk.

And Jaime walked away scowling, knowing it would be doubly hard to get Brienne to go out with him -  _as a friend!_  - after this.

 

 

 

## 5. 

This was all Brienne’s fault. The Starks’ older daughter seemed to have a history of attracting the creepiest guys and Brienne had finally taken it upon herself to be her “protector”. What exactly she planned on doing he wasn’t sure, but he was annoyed to have an annoying teenage girl hanging around them.

“It’s a crowded place and her  _entire_  family is present, Brienne, I’m sure she’s safe. Joffrey isn’t even here.”

Brienne glared at him.

“I promised both her and her mother that -”

“Yeah, yeah I know all about your promises”, he huffed. “Can’t you like, watch over her from farther off? We don’t  _have_  to hang out with -”

“Ooh is that Loras Tyrell?”

That was Sansa, and she sounded like she’d just seen Westeros’ biggest superstar or something.

“He’s gay,” he informed her.

Sansa scowled at him. “I  _know_. But he’s  _gorgeous_.”

Jaime made gagging noises behind her and Brienne glared at him again.

Then at one point in the evening, Brienne had to go talk to the Tyrells and she made him promise to stick with Sansa.

And then, the moment Brienne was out of earshot, Sansa turned to him and said, “she’s too good for you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Brienne,” Sansa said. “She deserves better than you.”

This was  _not_  how his evening was supposed to go. 

“Pretty sure she can be friends with whomever she -”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. You were trying to flirt with her,” she accused.

_Trying?_

“And she deserves better,” she repeated.

Jaime raised an eyebrow. “And you know this because of your stellar dating experience, I assume?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’ve dated enough assholes to know what I’m talking about,” she said primly, and then turned away from him.

Jaime scowled at her. This was entirely Brienne’s fault.

 

 

 

## +1

He’d assumed the tiniest (though not the youngest, gods, how many of them were there?!) Stark would be as annoying as her dad - she looked like him after all, right down to those judge-y, grey eyes. She certainly had a knack for choosing the wrong time to annoy him. He was busy brooding over how to get Brienne to forgive him, he didn’t need this.

“What do you want?” He said, staring down at her coldly, hoping to scare her away.

“Bri sent me. She said she forgot her headphones here.”

He blinked. Was she so pissed off she was actually sending a thirteen year old to get her things back?

He realized then that kid had already gone inside.

“Hey, get back, I don’t want a thirteen year old in my room!”

“I’m sixteen!” She scowled.

“Whatever -”

And then Jaime remembered that the last time he’d seen Brienne was at the gym. And she _did_ have her headphones with her.

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Now, look here, Alice -”

“Arya.”

“- I saw Brienne yesterday and I’m _quite_ sure she had her headphones with her.”

Arya but her lip.

“Umm... maybe she said earphones,” she said.

“ _Did_  she?”

“Oh yeah, definitely earphones.”

She checked her watch. Then looked up to see him glaring at her and looked away.

“You know, that’s funny, I -”

“Whoa. Is that  _Arthur Dayne_?”

She was looking at the photo in which he was standing next to Arthur Dayne and Barristan Selmy. He’d been barely older than Arya herself at the time. Of course things didn’t end well after that but he loved that photograph. And as much as he didn’t want to talk to this kid about it, he couldn’t help the pride that seeped into his voice, “Yeah, it is.”

“Bri has boxing gloves signed by Arthur Dayne, you know,” she said.

“I know, I gifted it to her.”

Her jaw dropped.  _“Wow.”_

And then she suddenly looked at her watch again and said, “Well, she must’ve been mistaken about the headphones, see ya,” and tried to leave.

He stepped in front of her. “Oh I’m not letting you leave before you tell me what’s going on.”

She glared at him.

He glared back.

“Ugh. Fine. It was a dare okay?”

“Brienne dared you?” He said, confused.

“ _No_ , stupid. Of course not. Gendry dared me to get into your house and stay inside for five minutes. He was sure I wouldn’t do it.”

“And how did you know about our fight?”

“What?”

“Brienne sending you to get her things?”

“Oh, I just made that up. Wait you two fought? What did you do?”

“Why do you assume  _I_  did something?”

She rolled her eyes.

“It’s nothing.”

“Whatever,” she said, and started towards the door. Then stopped. “I could talk to her for you.”

“Why?” He said suspiciously.

She shrugged. “You gave her Arthur Dayne signed boxing gloves. You can’t be all bad.”

He blinked. “Aren’t all you Starks to taught to hate Lannisters right from birth?”

“Oh, we are. But  _Bri_  likes  _you_  and  _I_  like  _her,_ ” she said. “But if you hurt her in any way I’ll set Nymeria on you.”

Arya Stark, thought Jaime as she left, might actually be the least annoying Stark he’d met.

**Author's Note:**

> I also wanted to include Bran but couldn't figure out how/where, so.
> 
> (Also Jaime is a total Arthur Dayne fanboy. Brienne and Arya not so much but I didn't know how else to get Oathkeeper-typr-priceless gift so there you go.)
> 
> ~ I'm teamtonystarkneedsahug on tumblr ~


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